Videos

There's one big problem with most coaching programs for men as well as ACIM, LOA and other approaches to divorce recovery many men turn to for help. A Course in Miracles and Law of Attraction work have a lot to offer. Many men-centric coaching programs do too... but they tend to skimp on one important feature. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book a Consultation Call with Me: https://www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/contact-8 Or email me to schedule a time: rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: Stages of Divorce for Men (& How to Move Through Them to Heal) 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/564429e2c4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARE YOU READY TO DATE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE? The Dating After Divorce Checklist helps you identify the specific areas you need to work on to actually ENJOY dating after divorce. 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/a70288df40 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m Rachael Sloan. I’m a divorce coach for men. I’m also a Master NLP Practitioner, a certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce, a unique approach to divorce recovery based specifically on the needs of men. I help my clients move from the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and in the aftermath of divorce to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. In these videos, I intend to help you do the same. DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment. Don't get me wrong, I really like A Course in Miracles, or ACIM. At first it was a bit too religious-ey for me, I'll admit that, but underneath the religious language is some truly powerful work. The same is true with Law of Attraction, or LOA. No, I'm not really into the "woo woo" stuff, and I don't think you can just dream your way into love or riches. But I do know that the way you think has a deep impact on the way you feel which has a strong effect on how you act. And your actions are what ultimately drive the experiences you have and the opportunities that are possible for you. So ACIM and LOA have good stuff to offer. So do the many coaching programs out there for men. But they all miss one big thing - by always focusing on the positive, they reinforce the feeling many men have that there is something wrong with them. When you only focus on what is "good" and encourage folks to ignore or deny their own doubting voices, it tends to make them believe that there is something wrong with them or with their inner voices. And it doesn't work. If someone is strongly identifying with a negative inner voice, with a feeling of fear or loss, no amount of positive cheerleading is going to silence that voice. That's why a lot of people engage openly in this kind of work, in coaching programs for men, or in LOA or ACIM and still stay STUCK. LICENSE CERTIFICATE: Envato Elements Item ================================================= This license certificate documents a license to use the item listed below on a non-exclusive, commercial, worldwide and revokable basis, for one Single Use for this Registered Project. Item Title: Motivational Orchestral Adventure Item URL: https://elements.envato.com/motivational-orchestral-adventure-7GC32Q9 Item ID: 7GC32Q9 Author Username: musicdream Licensee: Jordan Ingram Registered Project Name: coaching License Date: February 26th, 2022 Item License Code: 52NJ9TLHFG The license you hold for this item is only valid if you complete your End Product while your subscription is active. Then the license continues for the life of the End Product (even if your subscription ends). For any queries related to this document or license please contact Envato Support via https://help.elements.envato.com/hc/en-us/requests/new Envato Elements Pty Ltd (ABN 87 613 824 258) PO Box 16122, Collins St West, VIC 8007, Australia ==== THIS IS NOT A TAX RECEIPT OR INVOICE ====

Did her toxic positivity drive you into emotional suppression? Men’s divorce experiences are often characterized by accusations such as, “You lack emotional intelligence” or “you’re always so angry or negative”. Ironically, these accusations are often made in anger by their partners. In this video we explore the idea of “toxic” positivity and how an insistent focus on what’s good within a marriage can actually contribute to emotional suppression, poor communication and ultimately divorce. Make sure you stick around to the end, because I also share a simple but powerful way to recover from emotional suppression as you work to move on from your divorce. IS BETTER BEYOND DIVORCE THE ANSWER YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR? Weekly personal coaching, detailed exercises and explanations and daily support to help you get healthy, get happy and move on from your divorce with confidence. Book a free Consultation Call: https://www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/contact-8 Or email me to schedule a time: rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: Stages of Divorce for Men (& How to Move Through Them to Heal) 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/564429e2c4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARE YOU READY TO DATE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE? The Dating After Divorce Checklist helps you identify the specific areas you need to work on to actually ENJOY dating after divorce. 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/a70288df40 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m Rachael Sloan. I’m a divorce coach for men. I’m also a Master NLP Practitioner, a certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce, a unique men's divorce recovery program based specifically on the your needs. DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment. Men's divorce experience is often deeply colored by their partner's accusations, which often focus on the man's emotional suppression. Common complaints include: - You're not emotionally available. - You get angry too easily. - You yell/swear too much. - You're not passionate enough. - You don't make me feel loved. On the one hand men are expected to not express anger or frustration (or grief), while on the other they are expected to demonstrate passionate love and romance. Often the origins of this emotional double standard lie in "toxic" positivity. I'm not a big fan of labeling anything as toxic, but this is the language my clients are using and I think it's an important topic to discuss. Toxic positivity is a focus on the positive that goes too far. There isn't room for any "negative" emotion or thought. What happens is your partner starts getting upset with you every time you express a non positive thought or feeling. In her desperation to embrace positivity she focuses almost exclusively on your negativity. Having worked with both men and women and explored these phenomena with a number of colleagues, I don't blame the women anymore than I blame the men. We are all operating under a set of societal expectations until we pause and really examine those beliefs and how they show up in our lives. The beauty that I do see is that we can each make that choice and do that work for ourselves, even if our loved ones choose not too. LICENSE CERTIFICATE: Envato Elements Item ================================================= This license certificate documents a license to use the item listed below on a non-exclusive, commercial, worldwide and revokable basis, for one Single Use for this Registered Project. Item Title: Motivational Orchestral Adventure Item URL: https://elements.envato.com/motivational-orchestral-adventure-7GC32Q9 Item ID: 7GC32Q9 Author Username: musicdream Licensee: Jordan Ingram Registered Project Name: coaching License Date: February 26th, 2022 Item License Code: 52NJ9TLHFG The license you hold for this item is only valid if you complete your End Product while your subscription is active. Then the license continues for the life of the End Product (even if your subscription ends). For any queries related to this document or license please contact Envato Support via https://help.elements.envato.com/hc/en-us/requests/new Envato Elements Pty Ltd (ABN 87 613 824 258) PO Box 16122, Collins St West, VIC 8007, Australia ==== THIS IS NOT A TAX RECEIPT OR INVOICE ====

Jordan Peterson hits the nail on the head most of the time. But when it comes to MGTOW, “crazy women” and the power that men have in the world of relationships, he got it dead wrong. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: Stages of Divorce for Men (& How to Move Through Them to Heal) 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/564429e2c4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERESTED IN COACHING? BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH ME 👉 https://calendly.com/rachaelsloan/str... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARE YOU READY TO DATE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE? The Dating After Divorce Checklist helps you identify the specific areas you need to work on to actually ENJOY dating after divorce. 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/a70288df40 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m Rachael Sloan. I’m a divorce coach for men. I’m also a Master NLP Practitioner, a certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce, a unique approach to divorce recovery based specifically on the needs of men. I help my clients move from the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and in the aftermath of divorce to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. In these videos, I intend to help you do the same. DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment. I like Jordan Peterson. I do. He says a lot of smart things, and his words have given a lot of my clients strength and inspiration. But recently I watched one of his videos about MGTOW. If you aren't familiar with that acronym, it stands for "Men Going Their Own Way" and refers to a group that's based around the premise that the world is stacked against men due to toxic feminism. ​ Now... I can agree with that premise to a large extent (though I have some thoughts about how MGTOW members deal with it, but I'll save that for another video). You don't need to know much about MGTOW to see that Jordan Peterson missed the mark on this one. (If you wanna see the video, you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/3gClBIgG3ig ) In the video Jordan Peterson describes how he believes that the courts and legal systems are stacked against men, and further that men lack the tools to fight back. He describes how his wife told him that “men will need to stand up for themselves” but that he disagrees. In Jordan Peterson's opinion, the tools that men have to fight back can’t be used against women and their supporters. For Jordan Peterson and many followers of MGTOW this means that men are, and I quote, “defenseless against that kind of female insanity” and that "sane women" need to stand up to their “crazy sisters” and put an end to the man-hating, pathologizing narrative. In his opinion, men can’t do much of anything. I have to say I’m disappointed in Jordan Peterson here. He’s making the same mistake that many men in MGTOW do: when falsely accused of being the villain, he turns the accuser into the villain and himself into the helpless victim. I'm not the bad guy, YOU are! That narrative, though it may be emotionally satisfying at first, leaves men in a pretty shitty place, powerless to impact their own futures and helpless to communicate in relationships if the women is upset with them. The reality is that we don’t live in a world of victims and villains. The women he’s calling insane are no more crazy than the men they hate are actually narcissists. Yes, MGTOW is right that the world is unfair, our legal systems are majorly flawed and many men are unjustly discriminated against in divorce cases. But giving into the "good vs. evil", "victim vs. villain" game doesn't solve those problems. It simply perpetuates the divide, the conflict and the us vs. them mentality that has infected our society on so many levels. More importantly, it sucks to be a victim, almost as much as it sucks to feel like a villain! Victims are weak, powerless to improve their own lives. They rely on others to change instead, a recipe for depression, despair and isolation. Do you really want to live that story line any more than you want to live the villain one? Jordan Peterson forgot that there is always a third option, and he made the all too human mistake of getting caught up in the illusion that real life is actually as black and white as a super hero flick. I hope you don't make the same mistake.

Divorce recovery for men is different in part because men are exposed to societal messaging that can often leave you like a broken man after divorce. Understanding the societal narratives that you’ve internalized throughout your lifetime is essential for effective divorce recovery for men. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: Stages of Divorce for Men (& How to Move Through Them to Heal) 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/564429e2c4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERESTED IN COACHING? BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH ME 👉 https://calendly.com/rachaelsloan/str... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARE YOU READY TO DATE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE? The Dating After Divorce Checklist helps you identify the specific areas you need to work on to actually ENJOY dating after divorce. 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/a70288df40 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m Rachael Sloan. I’m a divorce coach for men. I’m also a Master NLP Practitioner, a certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce, a unique approach to divorce recovery based specifically on the needs of men. I help my clients move from the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and in the aftermath of divorce to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. In these videos, I intend to help you do the same. DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment. There are two general narratives that western society tells us about men. Both are myths, and both have impacts on divorce recovery for men. The first myth is that a good man is a strong, stoic provider who takes care of his family. He has his shit together, he is stable and grounded, emotionally intelligent and always there if you need him. This man would never fall apart, he is the rock that his wife and children can always count on. The second myth is that a sexy man is mysterious, confident, aggressive yet loving, passionate and takes charge, is vulnerable yet doesn’t get hurt by a woman’s criticism or anger… basically Dorian Gray from 50 Shades. These aren’t real men. These aren’t real PEOPLE. Yet most men think they should be this way... which is part of why you might feel like a broken man after divorce! Here’s the BIG problem with this societal messaging, and the one reason you may feel broken after your divorce: These stereotypes don’t allow for the one thing that is actually necessary to create the emotional safety and intimacy that makes relationships last - humanity. In order to be desired, you have to pretend you don’t care when you do, or that you really do care when you don’t. In order to be loved, you have to pretend you don’t ever feel scared, confused or weak. How can there be real intimacy, real emotional connection, if you’re not allowed to be honest about your thoughts and feelings? But understanding the impact of this societal messaging on your thoughts is essential for recovering from divorce and moving on with your life. My work is focused on divorce recovery for men. And most of the men I see feeling broken after their divorce believe one of two things: That they failed to be a “good enough” man. That women are insane and they’ll never be loved because women aren’t capable of love. The first group struggles with depression and self doubt that stops them from healing and moving forward. They are paralyzed by self doubt. The second group is so angry they can’t get past the injustices of their divorce. They are paralyzed by victimhood. In order to break free of paralysis and actually get your life back after divorce, you’ve got to conquer self doubt and victimhood. The first step to doing that is to become aware of where these ideas came from in the first place. To get over divorce and really recover, you’ve got to break the hold the messaging has on you, and start to get curious about yourself and relationships. What are they, without these myths? You can start with two simple journaling exercises to jumpstart your divorce recovery process: Without the societal narratives about what it means to be a man, who are you? What do you like? What’s important to you? What are your strengths? You weaknesses?

Divorce recovery for men is different than for women. If you feel like a broken man after divorce then you need to understand that there are distinct biological and societal factors that influence the way men experience divorce and the steps necessary for them to recover from it. If you’re feeling like a broken man after divorce, and especially if therapy or coaching hasn’t helped you achieve the results you want, that’s likely the reason. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: Stages of Divorce for Men (& How to Move Through Them to Heal) 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/564429e2c4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERESTED IN COACHING? BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH ME 👉 https://calendly.com/rachaelsloan/str... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARE YOU READY TO DATE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE? The Dating After Divorce Checklist helps you identify the specific areas you need to work on to actually ENJOY dating after divorce. 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/a70288df40 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m Rachael Sloan. I’m a divorce coach for men. I’m also a Master NLP Practitioner, a certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce, a unique approach to divorce recovery based specifically on the needs of men. I help my clients move from the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and in the aftermath of divorce to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. In these videos, I intend to help you do the same. DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment. We have this whole societal story about how men just jump from woman to woman without a care in the world, or that they only value the comfort and ease of having a wife who takes care of the home. There’s this myth out there that men aren’t as committed to their relationships or their children as women. Yet that’s not what I see every day in my divorce recovery for men coaching practice. Instead I see men who are deeply attached to their families, and fiercely determined to give their children their best lives. They are often willing to sacrifice their own happiness and give up their own needs to do what they think is best for their kids, or to win back their wives. And many of them are feeling like a broken man after divorce because of it. I have a theory about how biology and evolutionary history impact divorce recovery for men. From an evolutionary biology perspective, it would make sense that men form strong partner bonds with one woman, and are willing to fight to protect her and their offspring so those children survive to adulthood. Naturally if he loses that women (ie through divorce) he may very well end up feeling like a broken man. Now, my biology theory would also suggest that men would have a drive to have sex with other women if the opportunity presented itself in relative safety. Evolutionary biology doesn’t have morals, it is about passing on genes. It may well have been a man’s best evolutionary bet to be strongly partnered to one woman to ensure the survival of her offspring, while having occasional flings on the side to maximize his genetic opportunity. This has impacts for divorce recovery for men as well. A lot of men I speak to carry immense amounts of shame around their sexual drives. They think it means that they are not good husbands, not good fathers or in some way "less than" as human beings. It’s my opinion that if we were willing to be honest about our own biology, and to talk candidly about the fears and desires that are rooted in our physiology and our evolutionary history, we’d be able to create a much more peaceful society with healthier relationships and far less crime or mental illness. The point is, that many men are powerfully attached to their families, even more so than women. That’s true even if they are attracted to or even have sex with other women. Ignoring this often makes divorce recovery for men a nightmare, and exacerbates them feeling broken after divorce. The result - men struggle to let go of the idea of their family unit more than women do, making divorce recovery for men harder than it is for women. But that’s not really taken into consideration by most therapists or coaches when they work with divorced men.

I've had a number of subscribers reach out and ask how they can contribute to this channel and support the work I'm doing here. I've been blown away by the feedback and show of support. I'm activating the JOIN button on my channel, so you can now become a supporting member by paying $4.99/month. It's a powerful way to support me in producing this content, and you also get to enjoy some perks! For members I'll release all my videos a few days in advance, so you always have first access. You'll also be added to my members only feed where I'll share behind the scenes clips, bonus videos and extra content. And best of all, you'll get to have a say in what I make next! I'll put out surveys and polls asking for your feedback and you can also directly suggest video topics. I can't tell you how grateful I am for your support already, through watching, commenting and sharing my content. Whether or not you become a supporting member, thank you for being here and for watching. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: Stages of Divorce for Men (& How to Move Through Them to Heal) 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/564429e2c4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERESTED IN COACHING? BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH ME 👉 https://calendly.com/rachaelsloan/str... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARE YOU READY TO DATE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE? The Dating After Divorce Checklist helps you identify the specific areas you need to work on to actually ENJOY dating after divorce. 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/a70288df40 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m Rachael Sloan. I’m a divorce coach for men. I’m also a Master NLP Practitioner, a certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce, a unique approach to divorce recovery based specifically on the needs of men. I help my clients move from the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and in the aftermath of divorce to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. In these videos, I intend to help you do the same. DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment.

As a divorce coach I often see how divorce changes a man, making him bitter and mistrustful, when his ex's reasons for divorce aren't good enough. I often hear from my clients and viewers that they just don’t get why she left, when they didn’t actually do anything wrong! Sure, they made a few mistakes, but that’s human. Nothing worth divorce. This is one of the ways how divorce changes a man - leaving him feeling confused, bitter and deeply mistrustful towards other women. In this video I help you understand how and why this happens, and I share one powerful, simple way to break free from those painful feelings and open up the possibility of a happier future for yourself. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: Stages of Divorce for Men (& How to Move Through Them to Heal) 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/564429e2c4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERESTED IN COACHING? BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH ME 👉 https://calendly.com/rachaelsloan/str... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARE YOU READY TO DATE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE? The Dating After Divorce Checklist helps you identify the specific areas you need to work on to actually ENJOY dating after divorce. 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/a70288df40 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m Rachael Sloan. I’m a divorce coach for men. I’m also a Master NLP Practitioner, a certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce, a unique approach to divorce recovery based specifically on the needs of men. I help my clients move from the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and in the aftermath of divorce to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. In these videos, I intend to help you do the same. DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment. Women give a lot of reasons for divorce. Loss of intimacy, control, poor communication, feeling unappreciated, unrespected, unloved and so on. For men, this often comes as a bit of a shock. Sure, these are problems that should be addressed, but are they true failures of the marriage? Do they warrant divorce? It sure doesn’t feel like it for most men. I often see this being a key element of how divorce changes a man. It’s one of the main reasons life after divorce for a man can be so challenging. When your ex wife leaves you, citing weak reasons for divorce, it makes you question both yourself and her. For many men it seems crazy to even imagine trusting a woman again, which makes moving on after divorce or having meaningful relationships again really challenging. Surviving divorce and moving on after divorce is much easier if you understand the real reasons your ex wife left in the first place. She might not actually understand the true underlying reason herself! But it’s there. The problem isn’t that you had an unsuccessful marriage or that you were a bad husband. The problem is ultimately the communication or intimacy. It’s loneliness. People get divorced when they feel alone. If you want to get past divorce and move on, you have to look below the surface, past your ex wife’s aggression or complaints, and see the underlying doubts, fears and needs, in her and in you. The reasons most people give for divorce are just symptoms of the underlying problem. The real reason, the top problem is that feeling of being alone, disconnected from your partner. To let go, heal from divorce and move own without allowing divorce to change your ability to connect with others, you need to be able to see the real underlying reason for divorce.

What is divorce about, really? In this video I explain the #1 top reason for divorce. It's not poor communication, lack of intimacy or even infidelity. Once we define what divorce is really about, I'll talk about how your marriage gets in that position in the first place. Understanding the reason for divorce can help, but understanding how that reason came to show up in your marriage is key to avoiding the problem in future relationships. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: Stages of Divorce for Men (& How to Move Through Them to Heal) 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/564429e2c4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERESTED IN COACHING? BOOK A CONSULTATION WITH ME 👉 https://calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARE YOU READY TO DATE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE? The Dating After Divorce Checklist helps you identify the specific areas you need to work on to actually ENJOY dating after divorce. 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/a70288df40 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m Rachael Sloan. I’m a divorce coach for men. I’m also a Master NLP Practitioner, a Certified Life Coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce, a unique approach to divorce recovery based specifically on the needs of men. I help my clients move from the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and in the aftermath of divorce to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. In these videos, I intend to help you do the same. DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment. What is divorce about, really? What is YOUR divorce about? If you’re trying to make sense of an unwanted divorce, you’ve already spent hours googling the top reasons for divorce, trying to figure out where, exactly, you went wrong. If those lists aren’t helping, it’s because most of them are just describing the symptoms, not the underlying problem. Conflict, arguing, lack of intimacy, financial stress, lack of communication and even infidelity or abuse are all just symptoms. In this video I’ll describe the problem, and why it is the #1 top reason for divorce. People give a lot of reasons for divorce, but most of them boil down to just one thing. Understanding that top reason for divorce clarifies exactly what divorce is and will help you make sense of an unwanted divorce. Marriages fail because one or both partners feels alone. It’s that simple. If you’re struggling to survive divorce as a man, you need to understand the particular power of loneliness. For human beings, loneliness is not simply an uncomfortable emotion. It is a cue that your life is in danger. Being alone, for most of human history, was a death sentence. It still is for children. What does that have to do with divorce? Well, the top reason for divorce is loneliness. It is feeling unheard, unseen and disconnected. I’m not saying it’s your fault if your ex wife felt this way. It’s not your fault that the marriage failed. At its core, what divorce is is a societal failure. Our cultural messaging sets men and women up to believe they have to fit into very specific stereotypes in order to be loved. Which means we can be honest, and can't share our vulnerabilities or fears. We are very much alone, even next to someone who loves us. And that’s the top reason for divorce.

I help men figure out how to get through a divorce after a failed marriage, and in this video I'll share one powerful change that can make a huge difference in your success after divorce, as a man, as a parent and as a partner. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET YOUR FREE GUIDE: Stages of Divorce for Men (& How to Move Through Them to Heal) 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/564429e2c4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERESTED IN COACHING? BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH ME 👉 https://calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARE YOU READY TO DATE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE? The Dating After Divorce Checklist helps you identify the specific areas you need to work on to actually ENJOY dating after divorce. 👉 https://adept-leader-7807.ck.page/a70288df40 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’m Rachael Sloan. I’m a divorce coach for men. I’m also a Master NLP Practitioner, a Certified Life Coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce, a unique approach to divorce recovery based specifically on the needs of men. I help my clients move from the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and in the aftermath of divorce to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. In these videos, I intend to help you do the same. DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment. In our society divorce is synonymous with a failed marriage. The problem is that this language about failed marriages actually inhibits your chances of success after the divorce. And it makes figuring out how to get through a divorce even harder than it already is! In my work, offering divorce coaching specifically geared towards men, I come up against this language a lot. When you tell me that your marriage failed, it's usually with a sigh of despair, a big dose of shame and regret and a whole lot of resentment towards your ex wife. If you want to move on after divorce, especially after an unwanted divorce, you've got to seriously reconsider your narrative around your unsuccessful marriage. What I see happen for men getting through divorce is that they get hung hup on this idea of a failed marriage. They have to figure out why it failed, and they have to fix the underlying problems if they can. They end up embroiled in a mess of shame, resentment, regret and depression, and end up spending their days combing YouTube trying to figure out why marriages fail in the first place. All of this painful emotion and confusion makes it hard to be successful in your life after divorce. Anger and resentment towards your ex over your failed marriage makes coparenting nearly impossible. Stewing over why your marriage failed impacts your success in new relationships and even in your career. Do you want to know how to get through a divorce? Reconsider how you think about your failed marriage. Simply changing the language you use with yourself to "my marriage ended" instead of my marriage failed can make a huge difference. The language within your brain makes a difference, because it is deeply tied to your emotions. And your emotions, in turn, impact the way you show up in your life and the actions that you take. Sometimes getting through divorce more gracefully is as simple as questioning the language your mind uses, and reframing the way you think about the end of your marriage. Letting go of the narrative of a failed marriage can help you let go of anger, resentment, shame and regret, letting you focus on what's happening now: namely your life after divorce! Instead of staying stuck in the past, trying to figure out what your marriage failed, you can actually begin to move on after divorce and create a successful life for yourself moving forwards.