Fight or Flight Response

The fight or flight response is your body's automatic reaction to danger. When your brain senses a threat, it gets you ready to either fight it or run from it, long before your thinking mind has a say.
During divorce, this system can switch on and stay on. Rachael Sloan explains that much of the fear and despair men feel after separation comes from this response being activated. Your brain senses a threat to your identity, your family and your future, and it reacts as if your life is in danger.
But divorce isn't a lion you can fight or outrun. There's nothing to punch and nowhere to escape to. So the energy has nowhere to go, and you end up stuck in helplessness. That's the loop so many men describe. Fear, then hopelessness, then deep pain, then fear again.
Part of what keeps the loop going is your thoughts. They pull you into the painful past or a frightening future. Neither one is happening right now, but your brain struggles to tell the difference.
This is why Rachael Sloan starts with calming the nervous system. One simple tool she teaches is grounding through your senses. Look closely at one object. Listen for the sounds you usually miss. Notice your feet on the floor and the tension in your shoulders. Paying attention this way helps the older, more primal parts of your brain catch up to what's true in this moment.
It only takes a minute or two. The key is doing it often, many times a day, every day.
That steady practice is the heart of stabilization, the first phase of her work.
If you're reading this, there is no lion. Your body just needs time to believe it.