Why You Can't Let Go of Your Ex-Wife (And Why It Isn't Really About Her) Letting go of your ex-wife has less to do with her than you think. Here's what you're actually holding on to, and how to start loosening your grip. "I know it's over. So why can't I let her go?"

Did your ex wife divorce you for what feel like really bad reasons? I hear this concern frequently from the men I work with and from the men who follow my work. They tell me, "I know I wasn't perfect. Of course I made mistakes. But I didn't do anything that should have ended a marriage." They'll point out that they didn't cheat. They didn't abuse their wife. They didn't gamble away the family's finances. They weren't addicts. They were good fathers. They were good husbands. T

You see the happy post on Facebook. You hear from your kids about the trip she just took, the new person she's dating, how good she looks. And it feels like proof of something you're terrified is true: that she's better off without you. That you were the problem. Here's what I want you to hear: that belief could cost you years of your life if you let it take root. And it's not even true. The Belief That's Keeping You Stuck Most divorces begin with one partner latching on to a

Divorced men are four times more likely to die by suicide than divorced women. Not slightly more likely. four times. That one number should be enough to end the conversation about who has it easier during divorce. It doesn't take a study to see that something is deeply wrong with the story we tell about men and relationships. It just takes a willingness to look. I'm a divorce coach for men. Over the last six years I've interviewed well over a thousand men, all of them in the

It doesn't happen once. It happens fifty times a day. You're checking her Instagram at 2am. You're replaying the last fight. You're rehearsing what you'll say next time you see her. You tell yourself to stop. You white-knuckle through a workday, force your attention onto a movie, and five minutes later she's back. Here's what I want you to understand before anything else. This isn't a discipline problem. You're not weak, or obsessed, or bad at letting go. Your brain is doing